One Clear Dot

I hate to take a look at the morning headlines and see that another celebrity divorce has made the news. This time around it’s Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn, as well as Brendan Fraser and his lovely Afton Smith. The news of these divorces comes close to Christmas, which makes it all the sadder. Entertainment reporters are salivating for the juicy details.

All the while, there are families in real pain. Divorce is harrowing for all involved. It is not something that you gladly stand by and wish the entire world to speak about, like so much water cooler gossip. It took me months and months to get to the point in my own divorce where I was ready to write old friends to let them know. Even the friends I spoke to daily did not find out right away. It is a private sort of pain that you cannot fathom allowing the world around you share. These couples in the public limelight, though, only have to file the papers and the whole world is suddenly in the know.

The Penns are not people I have taken the time to learn about on a personal basis. I respect the work they both do in films VERY much. They are two astoundingly talented actors and I imagine they will both continue to do quite well in the industry. I wish them both healing in this time of change.

The Frasers, though, I feel a particular affinity when I think of this couple. They have been married nine years and have three young sons. They managed to live a very off-the-radar life despite being part of Hollywood. The only statement Brendan Fraser seems to have released says that the couple plan to continue to have a “close and caring” relationship.

It’s hard to remain close to someone you divorce, at least emotionally. Sharing children means you will indeed stay close in other ways – money, schedules, decision-making, and medical issues. But, sharing a child as a divorced couple also means that animosity that would fade over time for a split couple with no ties tends to take much longer to overcome. Daily communication is pretty much needed when you share custody of a young child. Daily communication can be aggravating and most unhelpful when all you want is to be able to forget about your former spouse.

I wish the Frasers the best, in all sincerity. I hope they are able to co-parent lovingly and without incident. It is a hard road they face and I very much hope there are not third parties involved, because that will absolutely convolute the already heartbreaking issues the kids must resolve.

Sadly, this is the kind of news most American news outlets are jumping all over when we should be mouring the death of Benazir Bhutto..

Posted on December 28th, 2007 by onecleardot
Filed under: Life in the U.S.