One Clear Dot

Sometimes I wish that I had kept writing in a diary. I started when I was in middle school and kept it up through the middle of college. The, I stopped. Even if the entries were not exciting, I can look back and get a feel for what I was doing on any given day, how I was feeling, etc. My memory is getting worse each year and I remember less and less of my childhood and the things I did back in school. I will think of a face of someone I knew in high school and I cannot for the life of me remember their name.

I have friend who will recall in detail something we did together when we were young and honest to goodness it feels like they are telling me about someone else’s life. It doesn’t seem fair to have lost that much of my own life.

Despite all of the heartache that may come with it, I do wish I had a photographic memory and perfect recall. I heard a woman on some radio talk show last week crying and complaining about her “perfect recall” and I just wanted to sock her in the face. She was whining about the pain it has caused her to remember all her life’s pains. Once the talk show host quizzed her on events and such, it sounded more to me like she has a good memory, but in no way is her recall perfect. She would often say, “Oh! I don’t actually remember that part but I know it was sad for me that day.” Whatever.

I’d be Okay with perfect recall – both the good and the bad. I’ve lived as pretty exciting life. I had great amounts of fun as a teenager. My friends were colorful and daring and we ran around the streets of DC going to punk concerts back in the height of the DC hardcore movement. I think back to something like going to the Black Market Baby concert at the Hung Jury Pub and only flashes and bursts of the memory are still with me. What a loss.

You know, my daughter is only five and if you asked me right now what her first word was, I would not be able to tell you. My mom is always saying to e that I should write this or that down when my daughter does or days something cute, but give me an hour and I have already forgotten to write it down.:)

Posted on May 31st, 2008 by onecleardot
Filed under: The Way People Think